From Grief to Gratitude

Via: theidearoom.net

Can you believe Thanksgiving is next week? This year flew by so fast! In the midst of this hectic season, I wanted to take a moment and reflect on what I am thankful for.

This year, my mentor, professor, and boss from my school was in a serious car accident. She was in a coma for about a month and then passed away on August 5th, 2017. She was one of the pillars of the MFT program at Hope International University. You could not think of HIU MFT without thinking of Lisa Wilson, walking around with her yellow notepad and water tumbler, in a color coordinated outfit (always), headed to a meeting or teaching a class.

Lisa Wilson had very intense eyes. You often read stories about people whose eyes "pierce into the depths of your soul." I didn't believe it until I met Lisa. When you talked with her, Lisa made you feel like you were the most important person in the world in that moment. Regardless of meetings, classes, interviews, and heading up a whole new program at school, Lisa would always put aside everything to connect with the person in front of her.

None of us were prepared to lose Lisa this summer. I, along with my classmates and colleagues, went through many difficult weeks. Some days I woke up feeling okay. Some days just I woke up sad.

I'm not going to say that I am done grieving. Now that graduation is coming up, I am thinking about Lisa more and more. However, I have noticed that my grief has taken a new form. It has been infused with a deep sense of gratitude.

When I think about Lisa, I think about how grateful I am to have spent time with her. I am grateful for the ways that she mentored me, taught me, and encouraged me. I am grateful to have witnessed her love for pouring into others, and her heart for children and animals. We may never know the "why" of unexpected tragedies. However, I am thankful for the serendipitous opportunity I had to experience this wonderful person during her lifetime.

My path of grief has lead me to gratitude. I don't know know where I will go from here, but I have a sense of peace for the future, wherever the path may lead. Maybe you have had a difficult year as well and having a hard time celebrating a holiday of gratitude. This is totally normal, and it is okay if you feel the need to step away from certain holiday traditions.

The Griever's Holiday Bill of Rights is a great resource to remind us that it is okay to feel, act out, and express grief in the midst of the holiday season. Here's an excerpt: "2. You have the right to 'tell it like it is'. When people ask, “How are you?” you have the right to tell them how you really feel, not just what they want to hear. You also have the right to smile and say you’re fine because telling them how you really feel isn’t worth your time. Some people will never understand anyway."

The practice of intentional gratitude is linked to mental and physical well-being. For more research on gratitude and mental health, here are some articles to get you started: npr.org, nymag.com

Be kind to yourself and your loved ones, and have a Happy Thanksgiving!