Lessons on Boundaries from the Royal Family

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A new year and new decade is a fantastic time to set healthy boundaries for yourself! A great example of this is the recent news about Prince Harry and Megan Markle's decision to step back from the Royal Family.

A personal boundary is a limit that we set for ourselves in relationships. This can be in families, friends, and the workplace. Healthy boundaries protect our well-being and allow us to thrive in these relationships. Many times, people do not set boundaries with others because it feels unloving, or they are afraid that the other person will end the relationship. Having poor boundaries can lead to burnout and emotional distress. Here are some lessons on enforcing boundaries that we can learn from "Megxit."

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Be prepared for change when you decide to enforce a boundary. 

Congratulations! You see the need to enforce a boundary and make your move. However, your relationships will change as people adjust to this new boundary. For Harry and Megan, their decision created a big reaction from their family as well as the entire world! If the people in your life are unsupportive of your boundaries, it means that they had poor boundaries with you to begin with. 

If you don't enforce your own boundaries, no one else will. 

Harry and Megan probably have an amazing support system of care providers, chefs, assistants, stylists, butlers, and security guards. Everything they could want for could be made into reality. However, the ultimate decision to leave their place in the family could not have been made by anyone else in their life. It's not anyone else's job to speak up and enforce your boundaries in your life. That is up to you.  

Just because it hasn't been done before doesn't mean it's impossible. 

You may be thinking, "well, this is the way it has always been," or "there's no other way this is going to work." When you have these kinds of thoughts, you are giving up the control you have in your relationships. There is always a way to protect your boundaries, even if you are part of a world-famous, historic family legacy.

The world will move on even if you enforce your boundaries.

 

When we imagine setting a boundary with someone, we often try to predict the outcome of that interaction and plan for any foreseeable conflict. As well-meaning as that is, at the end of the day you are responsible for managing your own feelings and not anyone else's. We cannot control anyone else's feelings and thoughts except our own. It is okay to decide what is healthiest for you and act accordingly. That is all that is in your control. Like our own "commoner" families, the Royal Family is also made up of a series of relationships. They are constantly defining and negotiating their boundaries with one another and becoming a stronger family in the process.